Design the Life You Dream Of

Let’s begin at my humble beginnings. I am from Columbia TN. When I was conceived my parents were raising five children in a two bedroom, house of about 800sq ft with no running water. I was raised to get out of my hometown, get a degree, marry well (which was pretty broad considering where I came from) & get a “good job” (one that paid more than just my monthly bills). And I did all of that by age 22. And felt trapped & suicidal. From the time I was sentient, my deepest desire was to live in the tropics. At 7 I knew I wanted to teach & at 11 I knew I was a writer. And I was never romantically interested in anyone for longer than a month. My actual self was in direct opposition to the self I was raised to be. But for my parents, who sacrificed so much to groom me for a “good life” I tried, I really tried. But alas, by 23 I was (ecstatically) divorced, had a degree in English & had become a devotee of the orisha. My parents were LIVID. But I was JOYFUL. It was at that point that I caught a glimpse of what it means to design the life of your dreams. However, my loyalty to my parents kept me trapped in a box that defined me & forced me to follow a self defeating narrative for 10 more years. I married another smart ambitious man who looked good on paper & tried to live the bite sized version of my dreams. A little writing, a little teaching, travel to the tropics once a year & a whole lot of sex to keep me distracted & high off endorphins. By the end of my 30s I was done & completely drained by trying to be what everyone around me wanted. I came undone, on purpose. I had begun, while doing sacred woman, to experiment with calling my desires to me through ritual, movement & visualization & I had been stunned & then emboldened by the results. When I realized it was ALL in my hands & ALL within my reach, I moved myself & my four babies to the tropics & (praise Oshun) divorced again. Except for a few loyal sister friends, everyone I knew & loved hated me vehemently for these choices. I was outed from groups I had created & shunned by those I had initiated & taught. In many ways it was hellish. But the sweet freedom of living My Own Life overshadowed the grief of those losses. FREEDOM WAS WORTH IT! I hit many bumps in the road but I knew then that the vast majority of obstacles were created by me not leaning fully into myself and by me trying to be invisible…By me hiding my real self from the world or my family or trying not to be seen for fear of being labeled too wild, too sexual, too free, too enticing. It was in these times that I begin to develop the courses that are on the site. Because I knew the lessons I was learning were essential for EVERY Black woman. In soooo many ways we ALL have been groomed to shrink ourselves & downsize our dreams & be content with the small version of our desires. And that very dimming of our light is what keeps us from achieving anything we truly want. I can guarantee with absolutely no hesitation that every time you are loudly yourself, fully visible in your true form (wearing what you want to wear & looking how you want to look), call to you exactly what you want with no holds barred and Do Not Play Small …the Universr will place in your exquisitely manicured palm EXACTLY what you ask for. That car, that house, that job, that scholarship…& yes that partner. You caint lose with the stuff you were born to use. Only YOU can create the life you dream of, not me, not the orisha not your Ancestors …only you. So lean in, it’s your move.